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Category Archives: My Daddy

One year

I’m dreaming of the traces that he left behind. Sight, sound, smell. It feels new. And painful all over again. Has it been one year already? How quickly time passes- but deep inside, the heart that was within me ceases to heal, continuing to bleed and putrefy with each passing day. Some days I laugh […]

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The Butterfly

…the quietude of the night. Her daughter sleeping soundly beside her, the occasional baby snore punctuating the stillness of the night, the hum of the air-conditioner purring in the room. Pachelbel’s Suite No. 1: Serenade played on her iPod. She pattered out into the living room, not understanding why (or perhaps she did) she had […]

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A different kind of birthday

I never was one who was big on birthdays. Not mine, at least. So what? What was there to celebrate in getting older? I didn’t achieve anything extraordinary. I made no discoveries important to mankind. I was just me. But he…. He’d be one of the first to remember. Weeks ahead. He’d call and “book” […]

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Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a big, beautiful mansion. She had fat, rosy cheeks, sleek black hair falling to her waist and chubby little hands and legs. Well-beloved by all who knew her, she had a young loving mother and the most wonderful doting father. She had 3 […]

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The 35th Anniversary

I took a quiet moment tonight in my mum’s prayer room- away from the hustle of cars on the main road in front of my house. Away from my sleeping daughter who slumbered in the room next door. Away from my husband who was out celebrating a friend’s birthday. I lit candles and the room […]

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A moment of weakness

I’ve been in the hospital with my daughter for the last 2 days. A little surgery. Poor girl. She came out of the operating theatre yesterday evening, placed in the recovery room, her small little body wrapped in some kind of foil-like thing, which I later found out was some kind of hyperthermia blanket system […]

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Brylcreem

You got any hair gel I can borrow? he asks me. Wtf? I don’t use hair gel, I retort. You know that. My hair looks like shit, he says. OK fine, I’ll see what I can do. I shuffle to my Dad’s bathroom and find a still-full tub of Brylcreem hair gel, dandruff control. I […]

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At Ikea

Two days ago, I went to my favourite blue-and-yellow Swedish furniture giant store, Ikea. With my time at the firm coming to an end, I had some serious packing and clearing up to do. I wanted to buy some nice patterned boxes that I could re-use, and some scented candles. So I parked my car, […]

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41 days

It has been 41 days now. How time passes by, in the twinkling of a star. People see me today, full of compassion and concern. They ask me, are you ok? And they look at me with their sad puppy-dog eyes, rubbing my arm. And what am I to say? I should tell them the […]

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Dear Roxy

Dear Roxy, Does the pain ever go away? I think it never does. The pain remains as a constant niggling sensation, eating away at you every single day, until one day, it ceases to be a primary feeling, and diminishes into something less intense. But it still remains nevertheless. A sudden smell, thought, sound, a […]

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