I was jealous but didn’t want to say so
I’ve not been anything but scorching hot
Soared, with passions all aflame
But when I saw Her,
To tepid. Then to cool again.
I was jealous
Watching her lean towards him
I felt a tiny, tingling “ping”
Like a string stretched taut to my thighs
A tiny spasm-
Nothing like an orgasm-
Or like being fucked.
A sudden intake of breath
Disgust and hurt-delivering
Exploding and earthquaking
North to South Pole shaking
Back-arching, no faking-
A deep breath.
It was like this as I recall
Registering on Richter
Rippling off the Equator
And when his face lit up, a smile
The thrill that he, I knew before
Has come into my life once more
Same eyes of smoky black (or grey or brown)
The ready smile (or steady frown)
Same sense of fun and bonhomie
That air of curiosity
The savoir-faire (of wide renown)
The heady kiss (the bedding down)
It is not true, as I have told
Our love blows hot, and then blows cold
For as she looks into his eyes
And see what I myself have loved
I know she wants him. She will try.
Perhaps he favours me no more
Though his claims of eternal love can grow
For, if he did, and I believe
He would have told her who I was
Despite liking things in moderation
Could he not forgo her adoration?
I don’t ever want to dance
Only to jump from this prison of circumstance
I want to smoke until I’m out
Until my lungs feel like I’m a drough.
How is it you can give yourself
Ever so much pain
Ever knowing he may never love the same?
The tissues are always out of reach
I’m crying tears I should not breach
I was jealous
But didn’t want to say so
Perhaps it’s time I let him go.