The List

When she was younger, like 12 or 13, she had a List. It started out with 2-3 things. Then as she grew older, the list became longer. It was no longer about what she truly wanted deep inside. It was also about what society dictated, what her parents would’ve wanted for her, to make them proud. Write a novella about her humdrum life. Get a boyfriend. Have her first kiss at 16. Go to Senior Prom in a dress she made herself. Enrol in truck driving school¬†because the boy she fancied was into them- big, shiny trucks. The bigger the better. Bungee jump. Learn to dance the salsa. Travel in South America. Study biotechnology in college.The List became her focus, and as each year passed, so came with it a fervent, almost frantic desire to tick off the next item on it. At age 20, she was now studying biotechnology, but these ambitions no longer held any promise for her, the subject had stopped becoming fascinating to her. But she told herself, she intended to stick by the List. It had guided her along her life thus far- the fact that she had it meant she was luckier than most people, and had goals to achieve in life. She just wished she weren’t so miserable sticking to it.¬†