I wanted to share the Abstract for my latest endeavour, which I hope to submit to an appropriate journal for peer-review and publication in due course. I would appreciate your thoughts, so let me know what you think ! 🙂
The Symbiotic Relationship Between Post-PhD Unemployment and The Dearth of the Human Will
This paper intends to invite reflection into the critical evolution of human creativity and will in post-PhD unemployment. The author hypothesizes, through a carefully designed empirical field study, (involving, amongst others, the author’s personal cumulative rejection accounts from Cambridge and Stanford), that the harmful relationship between post-PhD unemployment and the dearth of motivating incentives, unequivocally contribute to the diminishment of human creativity that was once the cornerstone of earlier PhD research; and subsequently, a diminishment of the will to live. The resulting diminished creativity, the author asserts, therefore leads to an unhealthy phenomena presenting the following symptoms: serial television binge-watching, the normalization of sweatpants or leggings as socially acceptable attire in social settings, and various forms of over (or under)-excessive behavior that may involve pizza, raw salads, and pharmaceutical products. For the purposes of this paper, the author terms this phenomena “Feeling Utterly Fucking Useless”, hereinafter referred to as FUFU.
Through the findings in her study, the author first makes an urgent and necessary call for immediate and sagacious disquisition of FUFU, asserting that such phenomena over an extended period of time, is capable of having constitutional effects that impact the operation of fundamental rights, particularly the right under Articles 2 and 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights. This arduous test between notions of the human self, assumed and conceived intelligence, and what was initially perceived as ‘personal awesomeness’ is incrementally eroded due to prolongation of post-PhD unemployment and increased feelings of frustration, pent-up and unreleased sexual energies, and the realization that fools in power still have jobs. Secondly, the author proposes the establishment of governance, whether at the local or State level, to monitor public security risks that may result from the unchecked operation of FUFU. Drawing analogous parallel to The Purge, the author posits that FUFU is capable of merging strong trends in public security law (internationalization, digitalization, and fragmentation), and that this merger would likely have negative repercussions on the societal level and beyond.
 ‘The Purge’ is a franchised series of action horror films with a dystopian theme. Besides the underlying premise of the films, where an annual holiday event called ‘The Purge’ is celebrated, [during the Purge, all crimes (including murder) are legal for 12 hours], several notable scholars have also pointed to the psychological influence of the Purge, all of which are really bad. The author therefore surmises, through synthesis of the available empirical data in her study, that the subject(s) in said study may, in time, demonstrate similar psychological mindsets with prolongation of post-PhD unemployment.
*In case it needed to be made clear, this Abstract is a parody and was written for ‘fun’! (Or not so fun, really…)